My mother in law is an ebullient, fun, silly, compassionate lady, but she hates to have her picture taken (and not just by me—whew!).
If she could see what I see (how HUGE her smile gets when she first sees our son Reid, her adorable giggle when he does something silly—which is most of the time—and the boundless love she has for this little dude), I don’t think she would be nearly as critical.
But I understand. I don’t always like having mine taken, unless I’m doing it myself (I’ve got thousands of self-portraits!). For me, I think it’s a trust issue. Is the person photographing me going to portray me as I see myself? Am I going to like how I am portrayed? Is my hair all messed up?
Is it the same for everyone else?
So, I started avoiding taking her photo. For a while there, I didn’t really have any photos of her and her grandson, unless she was blurry in the background, or if I only got a hand or her lap or something.
This started making me sad. I started thinking of my parents (still in Cincinnati), and how I only have a couple photos of them with Reid, and about how I really don’t have that many of me with Reid either (I’m always the one taking the photo). So I talked to her about it, and talked about how these photos aren’t for her. Heck, they aren’t for me, either. They are for Reid, and for his children and grandchildren.
This is our family’s history, and I want him to know how happy he made his grandmother. I want him to see that love and happiness on her face, I want THAT to be their memory of her.
We talked about this when she was picking up Reid for some play time with Gram. It was a short conversation, and when I related my thoughts, I let it go. That evening when she dropped off Reid, she came to me, gave me a big hug and said that she really understood why I take so many pictures and now she’ll never resist again.
It was a wonderful moment. I’m glad to get to photograph Reid grabbing her face, drooling all over her, and generally just loving on his Gram again!!
