What I Wish I Knew: 10 Nuggets of Wedding Advice From Married Folks
I asked married friends, family, and clients to answer one question for this week’s list. That is, “What’s the best advice you can give a couple who is planning a wedding this year?”
It may seem a little self serving that some of this advice has to do with the photographic aspects of a wedding day, but many of my friends are artists or photographers, so the photos of their day were very important to them.
Here is what they had to say, in no particular order.
Do you have some advice of your own that wasn’t mentioned below? Please add to the list by posting a comment!
1. “It’s not a unique piece of advice, but I would say that make sure when planning your wedding be sure to choose elements for the event that really reflect you and your fiancée’s personality and not just whatever the latest trends are. It makes the day even more special and memorable for you and your guests, and then be sure to let your photographer/videographer know about these personal details so they can weave them into their images.”
–Carrie, married 4 months
2. “Plan a wedding weekend for you and your betrothed full of family meals and private time. The wedding is just way too short and hectic to make meaningful memories with your beloved, parents and siblings. Let your families plan these get-togethers and keep them small and casual. You know what I mean, leave that color palette at the altar. Spend the night before your wedding together and wake up to breakfast in bed, the spa and a hike. It’s your day, keep it that way!”
–Lorena, married two years
3. “There is so much info out there, doing research online pays dividends, I don’t know how people did this before the internet (and got what they wanted, within budget). Invitations are one thing that should definitely be purchased online to save money. Also places like Paper Source (in Boston) have great quality stuff and ideas, but craft stores like Michaels have lots of little things that are really useful and you don’t have to pay the ‘wedding tax’ that seemingly everything white has.”
–Dave, married a year and a half
4. “Relax and enjoy it! It will be the best day of your life! And of course have Patrick as your photographer! :)”
–Cullen, married 5 months
5. “So much has changed in wedding planning since I got married in July 2006, thanks to the Internet. From DJ’s and bands to flowers and bridesmaid dresses, there’s a wealth of information out there. My biggest advice is to take your time, don’t feel like you have to rush to make any decisions on planning. And on your wedding day, take one moment between courses to sit at the table with your new spouse and survey the room. Capturing that one moment in time sticks with you and forces you to stop and take a step back, relishing in the amazing environment that has resulted from all of your planning and effort.”
–Amanda, married just under 5 years
6. “You will remember your wedding day through the eyes of your photographer. I was finishing my last year of college and trying to plan the wedding at the same time: the arrangements, tiny details, etc., all with a lot of emotion taking place. Face it, the ‘prep time’ is time consuming and tiring. By the time the big day rolled around, I was exhausted. We enjoyed the day, but it all went by in a blur. So, the photographs by the professional photographer, along with photos from family and friends, have provided the memories over the years. We still look at our wedding album, and it does bring back all the great memories. The flowers, cake, clothes, etc. eventually disappear; the photos and videos endure.”
–Beth, married 37 years
7. “Looking back I would be very specific about certain must have shots rather than assume the photographer would instinctively know. I was a tad disappointed when my photographer ONLY shot the groom sans groomsmen & my dad, even though they were all getting ready in the same suite. Also, I’d say enjoy every minute of it because it flies by way faster than you can imagine.”
–Jenne, married just under a year
8. “Figure out what details are the must haves and don’t worry about the rest.”
–Laurene, married 17 years
9. “The best advice that I could give to a couple planning their wedding, (not to seem self-serving) is to plan plenty of time for photos and not cram too much into the day.
I shoot for many couples who plan for X amount of time for photos and expect to be able to do everything themselves (decorate, etc). The first thing to lose the time when things go awry is photography. Since you have the entire family expecting to be in photos, the group shots tend to take an unintentional precedence over photos of the bride and groom. Delegating responsibilities to people/companies who won’t be taken away from photos and have all the details they need to get the job done can allow for them to do their thing without interrupting the flow of the day. Hiring a wedding planner and coordinator (if it can be allotted for in the budget) can really help on this level, as they can keep the pressure off of the bride and groom.”
–Rob, a wedding photographer in Columbus, OH (http://www.mankophoto.com) married 3 years
10. “Remember that the success of the marriage itself has little to nothing to do with the success of the wedding.”
–Nick, married nearly 6 years
