Three weeks ago, I posted a list, generated by readers and clients, that offered advice to engaged couples from married couples about their wedding day (click here if you missed it).
I really like the idea that these lists are not always what I think, but rather a resource of collected information from people in the know, people that have been through these experiences and who have learned lessons. So, through my Facebook page, I posed this question: “What’s the best advice you can give someone who is expecting a child this year?”
Below are people’s responses. Thanks to all of you for your advice!!
- “Go out to a nice dinner together at least once a month while you are expecting. It gets harder for mom to eat later in pregnancy but savor the moments anyways. It will be months before you can do it after baby comes!”
–Tara, mother of two - “Save A LOT of money, sleep all you can and enjoy being with your spouse (take a trip, do something you have always wanted to do together, etc.) and get ready for the most exciting time of your life. Being a parent is the best experience in the world!”
–Ben, father of two - “Save the cash people start to give you in a jar that is only to be used on the baby. You will be surprised how much you spend after you think you have everything, and this helps save you a lot of money. But, most importantly, cherish every moment you have as a couple and as a family. It goes fast. :)”
–Tara, mother of one - “Commit your current lifestyle to memory. I can’t remember what life was like before kids – what did I do with all that free time, when I didn’t have all these expenses? :)”
–Josh, father of two - “Sort of like what Josh just said, be ready for a radical change. Kids totally change your life in ways you can’t totally anticipate. That being said, know that after the craziness of the first year or so, life does settle down eventually.”
–Laurene, mother of two - “The best advice I have is to relax. Don’t be afraid of childbirth – it’s not pain, it’s very hard work, but, like running a marathon, or completing any other monumental physical feat, it instills amazing self esteem and confidence for new moms. Embrace it and own it!
Also, as soon as you can, start going out for coffee, lunch, wine, whatever with your partner. never forget that you are a couple. Kids are part of your relationship – they don’t take the place of it.
And never feel bad about saying “no” to your child. You’re doing a service to your little one when you lay down boundaries and discipline. It’s ok to not want to be with your kid 24/7, and it’s ok to disappoint them, or make them mad. They’ll live and they’ll be better people for it. Adversity is good for kids. They don’t need to be raised in a cocoon of entitlement to feel secure and happy. When they face challenges and overcome them, they feel good about themselves.”
–Adrienne, mother of one - “Sleep! Sleep! Sleep! Sleep!”
–Sarah, mother of one - “Stay calm and live in the moment. Don’t stress over what might happen in the months to come or you may miss the special moments you can only experience in infancy. Also, resist the urge to smother your husband while he sleeps through the night time wakings.”
–Kim, mother of one - “90% of the ‘must have’ stuff from Babies R Us is totally not needed.”
–Nicole, mother of two - “I think the best advice I have is to be patient and don’t panic. Also, it’s important for new parents to understand that they have a new job that they will do 24-7, so they will be tired and will need breaks. It’s so important to take a break when you need one or a nap. It’s amazing what an hour break will give you. It will renew your patience, bring down your stress level and refocus your mood so that you won’t take precious moments for granted.”
–Renee, mother of one
